THE REAL McCAIN

This video doesn't even touch on him recently voting against funding for veterans benefits for the troops currently fighting in Iraq and Afganistan. I guess he figures all of them can follow in his footsteps when (/IF) they return home from the war and get married to an heiress from a fabulously wealthy family. (-if need be, divorce their exisiting non-heiress wives). That way you won't be a financial burden on the government who sent you overseas to get your legs blown off, in order to make his draft-dodging war-profiteering pals G.W. and Cheney lots of money. Just have your new wife's family bankroll your senate campaign and once elected, continue the cycle of shitting on veterans from all of the future wars McCain would eagerly like to start.

BUSH COMPARES OBAMA TO HITLER APPEASERS

Wait a minute... -He's not talking about the same Hitler that his grandfather, Prescott Bush, financially backed while he was exterminating the Jews during WWII...-Is he?? UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE

PUBLICLY SONNED BY CHRIS MATTHEWS

When you're on live TV and you get your ass handed to you,-by Chris Matthews of all people, you may as well just pack it up, go home and kill yourself. The only way this deutschebag hack, Kevin James, could have embarrassed himself any further is if Matthews would have just put him over his knee and spanked him on his bare bottom. A truly miserable performance by a shill for a truly miserable political party. Matthews has been on a role lately, considering what a pathetic dingleberry of the Bush administration he's been for the past seven years. Somebody must have deprogrammed him... Either that, or it's just started to dawn on him what a complete dog-fuck disaster this administration has been. Better late than never I guess...

CHANGE OF CAREERS.

Hey; quick question for you guys... -What the fuck am I doing with my life?? -Blogging? Making dumb t-shirts? -If I had half a brain I'd be learning how to speak Japanese and how to do ill magic tricks. What a devastating combo that'd be. -Talk about having the keys to Pussy-City...

Greenhorns.

I've worked in kitchens for 17 years. That's 1-7 long and largely thankless years but I still love it. I've been cut, burned, overworked, underpaid,yelled at by crazy chefs, spit at by insane Dominican dishwashers, and sweated on by co-workers who I wouldn't let into my own home in any real situation. I've worked with some of the most talented people to pick up a knife and I've worked with shaky tweaker criminals. In two cases that was the same person. It would be safe to say that I've been around the proverbial block and paid just about every due that I've come across. So, knowing all of this, you would be safe in assuming that I wanna cut the throat of some jerk off that just walked out of some bullshit school and wants to tell me his method of making pate de choux. Or ice cream. Or sorbet. Or any fucking thing.

Fuck rookies.

Due to the bizarre success of shows like Hell's Kitchen (crap) and Top Chef, (utter garbage) being a chef is now becoming the hot new job and cooking schools are opening as fast as they fill up. And where the fuck do these dickweeds go when they "graduate"?
Right into the goddamned world to show it that they learned how to be an honest to god CHEF. The problem there is that most of these retarded mouth breathers can't function in an actual kitchen. They've been so gassed up by the people who run these schools that they come out of there thinking they're gonna turn the culinary world on it's ear and "really show 'em how it's done". These mooks are fucking up my flawed, but ultimately life affirming version of paradise (which, incidentally, is a cramped, noisy, hot, loud, submarine like hell hole filled with people as crazy as me.)because they can't cook worth a shit.

Don't get me wrong here, friends and neighbors. I know that truly great schools exist and people do go to them and can come out changed for the better. But there's like three. In the whole country. And those aren't very easy to get into considering that they require some kind of real world kitchen experience (good) and an assload of money (bullshit). So tell me all about Johnson And Wales some other time, nerd.

Cooking schools have become the new truck driving schools promising a life of adventure and high class. They fail to mention that the "high class" is happening in the dining room while you break your ass trying to feed people who wouldn't piss on you if your hair was on fire. The fact is.....the guy working the grill just got out of prison. In El Salvador. The prep cook is drunk and two of the waitresses are so coked out that they can't get their orders together, let alone their collective shit. And that's on a Tuesday. Lunch. Make that equation a Friday night and everything gets multiplied by a gajillion. It's just not a safe place to be for some dewy eyed cocksucker that wants to play in the big show.

I know some folks that went to these schools and aren't total fuck-jobs. But that's only because they knew that dedication and hard work are your only worthwhile routes to actual learning. Not just the receipt from your tuition payment.

So, to answer your question.....No I don't "totally love" cooking shows. Rachael Ray can eat a bowl of dick up and hiccup. Gordon Ramsey threw away the career of a lifetime to take his shirt off on TV. Jamie Oliver is only getting a pass because he works with kids and anyone on Top Chef is marked for death by legions of tough ass grinders who throw down night after night for the love, not the fame.

So watch your backs, greenhorns.

Vague Genre Movie

A CELEBRATION OF LATIN ASS

I could watch this for hours. In fact, the odds are, I actually will watch this for hours. Precious hours of my life that I'll never get back. Fuck it, what do I care... (Compliments of El Mac)

MADONNA'S MUSIC IS HORRIBLE.

I didn't bother posting a corresponding audio or video to reinforce my point; I just wanted to make that fact clear. I was thinking about posting a recent picture of Madonna, but then I realized that she's a horrific mess to look at as well. A fabulously scary, elderly, veiny, pasty, muscley, turned-out on Kabbalah and Pilates, visual nightmare.

America's Next White Top Rapper Model

JOHN McCAIN-THE STRAIGHT-TALK EXPRESS

Is the term "the Straight-talk Express" synonymous with 'the Lying/flip-flopping Hate-gays Express'?

Things Younger Than John McCain

McDonald’s is younger than John McCain.

VINTAGE O'REILLY MELTDOWN!

Seeing this was the best part of my day so far! -Good looking out Thee Casual Male!"WE'LL DO IT LIVE... FUCK IT!!!"

THESE GLUTES ARE MADE FOR WALKING

Good looking out Mullet Soldier!

DALE DAVIS BOWLS A PERFECT 300... -BLIND

I can't really explain it, but this is one of those stories that makes me take a break from hating the entire human race for a few moments. Maybe because it's inspiring to see someone achieve something pure and un-diluted buy profit or belittling somebody to indulge their own ego. Most of the time there is the continuous hum of static emanating from everything vile and fucked up about humanity playing at deafening volumes in my mind. For some reason, a blind guy bowling a perfect game gives me a glimmer of optimism.Dale Davis, a 78-year-old man who lost his vision years ago to macular degeneration, bowled a perfect 300-game Saturday in the Iowa town of Alta, according to a local report. "It was quite a thrill," Davis told the Storm Lake Times in Storm Lake, Iowa. "When I got to the tenth frame, I said 'Lord, let me throw three more good balls.' When I did, people on other teams were yelling and cheering. A few guys were hugging me and almost broke my skinny bones." The report said Davis, a Navy veteran, got his start in bowling as a pin-setter during his teenage years, making 45 cents a night at a local alley. He went on to succeed in leagues and tournaments, including winning a $2,500 top prize in a California event shortly after his days in the service.Davis was living in California in 1996 when he lost sight in his left eye, the report said, and the right eye followed a year later. He then decided to move back to Iowa, where he was raised, where his sister still lives. With the help of his sister, Davis soon regained his bowling form and achieved an average of 188, according to the report. "I can't see the lane or the pins and have a heck of a time finding my ball sometimes," Davis, who still has a small spot of peripheral vision remaining, told the paper. "I can kinda see the dots on the floor to know where I start. After that, I rely on my hearing and other people to tell me what's going on." Nicknamed "The Hammer" for the surprising force of his shots, Davis relies more on his hearing than his vision to assess the quality of each roll. "The sounds of the alley let me know how I'm doing," Davis told the paper. "There's a loud crack when I get a strike. When I hear that crack, usually it's followed by someone telling me I can sit down. "Saturday night, all I heard was 12 cracks in a row."

Photoshop 101

TIM, ERIC and ZACH'S NEW ABSOLUTE VODKA COMMERCIAL

KIM KARDASHIAN'S BURMA RELIEF PSA

WOW! This may have been one of the most baffling public service announcements of all time. In fact, I'm not even sure it qualifies as a PSA, considering the only public it is actually serving are people who want to look at her enormous ass. Granted, that's an entirely worthy service; I just kinda think that it's in poor taste to be speaking about massive human tragedy, in conjunction with frivolous shopping and primping in front of a mirror. That being said... Girlfriend hit the genetic powerball numbers. I'd honestly and sincerely toss her salad for like 72 hours straight.

CRANK THAT SOULJA GIRL!!

I really didn't want to even post this one; but then again, it loosely involved Soulja Boy and someone acting completely nuts; -how could I resist? When I asked Siddiq 'tha freak' what was the context for this girl loosing her shit like this, his answer: "Sherm and BET." I can't really argue with that logic. See why:Here's an insightful recap and commentary on what you just saw... (From a flaming FLAMING gay perspective)

HOLLER AT YOUR BOY!!

(-And by "holler"- I mean throw him off a roof.)

Stacking Gallons

HOT ASIAN GIRL DuJOUR/ CRANK THAT -SOULJA BOY EXTRAVAGANZA!!

You thought you were never gonna hear about Soulja Boy again?... -Nope. I think back to about 7 months ago when you couldn't swing a dead cat around without hitting someone doing the soulja boy. It was a simpler time then. People could leave the doors to their homes unlocked, gasoline only cost $3.85/ gallon, and babies could ride the subway alone... nude. Call me nostalgic, but lets all take a moment to remember the month of September, 2007. -It was a magical time...

YOU CAN'T FAKE THE FUNK.

this is perfect! the start AND the end of Catfish Week on LOA!!

ALL NEW LOA DESKTOP WALL PAPER!!

All the new posts with the LOA fan wall paper got me all jazzed up to bang out a new one myself!
...nothing short of perfection if i do say so my self, but i doubt i will say so... unless i just did by saying that.

you know how its done, click to enlarge then right click and save to your C Drive, or Mac users can click to enlarge and drag to desktop, but i doubt any of you use a Mac.

LIVE and DIRECT from Paris France!!

R2D2 projector in action
Uploaded by mikropikol

except that remote has gotta go, that shit is fucking wack, like if you were Luke Skywalker you use a mini millenium falcon to control your R2 unit?!?! so dumb.

DO NOT VOTE FOR HILLARY CLINTON

Joe Lieberman ass tactics lie in hiding.